Season 1, Episode 1: The Name


"I thought you were gonna wake me at 6:30." -Dilbert
"I also said women like men who are shaped like potatoes. Can you find the pattern here?" -Dogbert

"What do you think an egg dream means?" -Dilbert
"It's probably an omen." -Dogbert
"A good omen?" -Dilbert
"How many good omens involve something that comes out of a chicken's butt?" -Dogbert
"There only has to be one." -Dilbert

"Old Jack Cooper had that dream... right before he turned in the chicken-man." -Alice
"It's impossible to turn into a chicken." -Dilbert
"A chicken? Yes. A chicken-man? That can happen." -Wally

"Now, this isn't easy for either of us, but I have to ask you to take your huge executive severance package, and go find a higher paying job at another company." -Big Boss

"Do you think the guy who invented the mousepad started with the name? What's a mousepad?" -Dilbert
"Feminine protection for mice." -Wally

"Let's stay focused. Diseases, secretions, Greeks!" -Dogbert

"Leave the premises now, or I will be forced to call the security guard, who although old and feeble, will whip you and beat you without mercy until you sing campfire songs in the voice of a little girl!" -Frenchman


Written by Larry Charles & Scott Adams, Directed by Seth Kearsley

Starring Daniel Stern, Larry Miller, Gordon Hunt, Jackie Hoffman. Also starring Tom Kenny, Gary Kroeger, Tress MacNeille, Billy West, Jim Wise.